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July 11th, 2006

numfar, the dance of bitterness!

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Everyone over on advent_atlantis is having fun talking about the things they love about SGA, and I am over here being sad and angry because I can't think of ten things. I can't. I don't have ten things. I have, like, *forty* things that piss me off, but not ten that make me happy, and this is an uncool way to feel about one's primary fandom.

I think I started to get really sucked down last week when I was putting off writing by going through the vid folder on my computer, and I watched "Hello" for the millionth time (I have no link handy, but go to merryish and find it!), and the thought occurred to me: *that's* the show. That's the one they should be doing, all dark and slick and gorgeous, with these embattled refugees under seige from terrifying, blood-sucking insect-aliens on one side and the incomprehensible technology they need to survive and can't totally control on the other. And there would be action and gallows humor and people who loved each other like they were the last people on Earth, which they would basically be, and it would have that edge-of-the-universe Wild West feel but with geeks and Regular Guys from our own reality out there just trying to be smart enough and mildly crazy enough to hang on with teeth and toenails against everything from human evil to the laws of physics. It would be the beautiful, beautiful love child of CSI and Battlestar Galactica, or possibly West Wing and Firefly.

Somewhere in my head, that's the show that exists.

Part of my bad mood is that it's summer rerun season and I have a lot of time on my hands, so I'm re-acquainting myself with all my old favorite shows -- Buffy and Due South and Sports Night, and I'm finally getting through the nine thousand episodes of Homicide we have in the house that I've never watched, and I'm just kind of in outrageously bitch-snob mode where I'm not appreciating the *special* charms of shows whose chief ambition is to fuel their own franchises. I want Atlantis to *want* something, to be about something, to have something to say to me. If they would just give me one fucking episode that's supposed to *do* something to me, one single "I Only Have Eyes for You" or "The Deal" or "April Is the Cruelest Month" or "Shadow of Two Cathedrals" or "Flesh and Bone" -- even a "Donut Run" or a "Duane Berry" -- I would forgive so damn much.

And some of it is just doing so much writing myself lately, and being reminded how much of what you write, when you're the writer, isn't about your execution, but about the decisions you make. You do ten different things in every scene, and you either *know* why you're doing it that way and not another way, or you just throw words around and hope you hit something, and SGA bears all the marks of something that's written with the second method. And it pisses me off, because these people have the greatest fucking job on earth. They get to make up stories for a living, and they are blowing it. They're not being writers, they're just being dumb fanboys throwing bullets and bimbos and faux-aliens in funny hats at the screen and hoping we'll keep watching, and hey, maybe if we don't, the SG-1 fans will take over for us when they transplant all their fucking characters in, like this is the goddamn Muppet Show and Carol Channing will be on next week.

Anyway, in the spirit of my rage and pissiness, here's the list of things that SGA could, but won't, do to impress me:
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