Three things:

1. For those of you who knew about my doctor's appointment, but that I didn't catch up with in person yesterday -- good news. The specialist doesn't think the condition is degenerative. He said to keep an eye on it, make sure to get my eyes checked regularly, maybe take a multivitamin that's specifically related to eye health, but that he doesn't expect it to affect my vision anytime soon. He said I just come with funny retinas. *g* So, not going blind, yay!

2. I have a new homebase. I've imported this journal over there, and will probably keep this one for ease of commenting and lj friendslist purposes and whatnot, but updates are more likely to happen there.

3. Updates will happen! Srsly. But not this weekend, as I'm going to a festival in VA for the weekend.

So as many of you have noticed, the entire Gatefiction domain seems to be gone, and I haven't been able to get hold of my host there. I hung out a while hoping it was a glitch that would be repaired, but...it hasn't been, and I have like 70-something stories that existed there and nowhere else.

Anybody have a little corner of space they'd like for me to have for my new internet homestead? I dislike and distrust free web hosting operations, for aesthetic reasons as well as the inevitable concerns about unfanfriendliness. I would even repay you in fic. Oh, and eternal gratitude, naturally -- but also fic!

Folksy. White. Mother of 5,000,000.

And when she says she won't blink, that means something.

Need more reasons to loathe Sarah Palin? Of course you don't! But anyway, I try to get the word around when I encounter yet another creepy underground manifestation of psychotic Dominionist conspiracies: your concise guide to Third Wave Christianity, now with still more spiritual warfare! This time, instead of all non-evangelical Christians in general, they hate me in particular, which always just makes it feel more special.

A takeaway quote, for those of you who don't click links. This is Ana Mendez, who helped organize a Third Wave "prayer expedition" to the top of Mt. Everest, which she credits with causing a major avalanche. This sounds kind of bad and scary to you and me, but apparently it took out the prayer flags that people of other religions traditionally leave on Everest, so I guess that was the point? Seems excessive, but you know how God likes the grand gesture, except when He doesn't. Anyway, Ana Mendez:

"Since then, we have seen millions come to faith in Asia. ... Within two weeks of the expedition, other things happened which I believe are also connected: the huge fire in Indonesia, the largest Muslim nation; an earthquake destroyed the basilica of Assisi, where the Pope had called a meeting of all world religions; a hurricane destroyed the infamous temple 'Baal-Christ' in Acapulco, Mexico [btw, that place is so famous that when I Googled it, eleven hits came up, all in reference to this quote; does anyone know where the hell she's talking about?]; Princess Diana died, a representative of the British throne, to which Sir Edmund Hillary dedicated Mount Everest; and Mother Theresa died in India, one of the most famous advocates of Mary as Co-Redeemer."

Dead infidels for the scorecard, yay! This is the kind of thing that makes me want to literally spit in the face of everyone who tells me that the problem with us liberals is that we endorse a "culture of Death" rather than the conservative Christian "culture of Life."

Not that I particularly want to get into a dick-slapping contest with these people, but honestly? If they decide their grand hobbyhorse needs to be this "confronting the Queen of Heaven" business, then you know what, good fucking luck to them. They're not the first to try it, and as they've noticed, She's still here. These fringe-of-the-fringe wackjobs think they can pray down Oya and Oshun and Yemaya -- Diana and Demeter and Athene -- Durga and Laksmi and Kali -- Kwan Yin and Ameterasu and Tara -- Hathor and Isis and Innana -- Freyja and Brigid and the Morrighan -- Sophia and Shekinah and Sancta Maria herself? Knock yourselves out, y'all. Seriously, you do not scare me on the spiritual front -- only at the polls.

excerpt from a recent interview posted at Gateworld:

Momoa went on to reveal how he would like Dex to exit the show -- and in his mind he may take his co-star with him. "A blaze of glory, man," he said. "... me and Joe [Flanigan, Colonel John Sheppard], going out. The unspoken word, looking at each other.

"We've had it happen this year [in "Search and Rescue."], we do one where we look at each other and he's like, 'We're going to die. It's an honour,' and I'm like, 'Same.' It's unspoken and you're going out with your buddy, firing."

That's all I have to say about that. Welcome to the ship, Jason! Here's your secret decoder ring.

"Not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime."

YES, IT IS, MUKASEY, YOU EVIL PIECE OF SHIT. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE WORD "CRIME" MEANS.

I don't know if I could really respond better than this to the latest salvo of unhinged homophobic batshittery from Orson Scott Card.

I remember reading the Memory of Earth series in college, back when it was even harder than it is now to find even vague references to homosexuality in genre fiction. One of the main characters was a gay man who married a woman because it was required of him, and I remember thinking it was just a really intelligent, poignant treatment of a character who had made this terrible choice between two mutually exclusive types of happiness. It's weird to look back now and realize that whole arc was not, as I believed at the time, *descriptive* of what it's like to live under enforced heteronormativity, but *prescriptive.* Card doesn't hate gay people; he just hates gay people who selfishly destroy civilization by refusing to enter heterosexual marriages and breed.

Oh, and by the way, the reason Card doesn't consider himself a homophobe is that he subscribes to a very specific definition of the word, where homophobia means a fear of homosexuality that is so crippling as to interfere with one's life. Well, I sort of think he's crossed that bridge now, since he's so terrified of teh gay conspiracy to destroy everything good and pure in lif that he can't think of any other recourse than civil war. That sort of seems like it's getting in the way of being, you know, a normal human being who doesn't want to incite civil wars? Oh, and also, a lot of his former fans now wouldn't buy one of his books if it came with a lifetime's supply of cool shoes and lubricant, so it's not been a great boon to his career, either.

Also, fuck Orson Scott Card.

So as part of this thing I'm doing where I try to get my life under some kind of control, I went and deleted all THIRTY SEVEN HUNDRED and change e-mails sitting in my inbox.

That's not like a joke, like when I say "There's thirty seven hundred mostly empty bottles of salad dressing in this refrigerator, OMG." That's a real number. Some of them I had read, some of them were comment notifications for things I'd already responded to. Many of them were things I hadn't read or answered, but you know, it was just at the point where I knew I wasn't going to, because facing that kind of backlog and going through it to separate out things that I need to respond to from things that I can let go from things that I should've responded to at the time but the moment has now passed -- that was just terrifying and depressing, and I knew I wasn't going to do it.

I know I suck at this stuff, Dear Readers, and I wish I were better at it. Like I said, I'm trying to organize my life a little differently and hopefully *be* better at it. Sometimes it's laziness or my desire to move onto the next shiny thing in my head. Sometimes it's the weird brand of social anxiety that I have where I actually get a little freaked out by comments and feedback and e-mail, because it's nice to know that people are listening, but then holy fucking God, people are listening and I periodically find that really intimidating and then I can't go near the whole thing until it wears off. Whatever the reason, it's obnoxious behavior, and I'm trying to cut down on it. Having a clean slate, I think, will help some.

So if you're one of the people who have been disappointed or insulted because you tried to contact me and I didn't respond, I apologize to you. My ability to deal with other human beings kind of runs in cycles, and I'm really sorry you got caught on a downward slope. Hopefully some of the stuff I'm trying to do differently now will result in some improvement to my ability to control those cycles.

Are you spoiler-safe for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and The Dark Knight? Did one or both of them make you angry with rage, even as you cooed and petted them? Did you notice how they're practically the same movie, except completely different?

( Wherein I compare the two at prodigious length )

So I've been doing this weird thing, since last we met (Dear Readers): I've been on hiatus from fandom.

Seriously, I know nothing. I've not logged into livejournal in months. I've read no fic. I've written nothing. I'm totally out of the loop, except for occasional reports from the field from marythefan, who's been busy arriving late to the bandom party. (I continue to find its siren call quite easy to resist.)

In the meantime, I've been doing other stuff. I've traveled a little -- to a pagan festival, to see linabean, to the beach. I've caught some television that I'd foolishly put off seing (OMG, HOW DID ANYONE NOT TELL ME HOW FUCKING AWESOME THE OFFICE IS? Okay, fine. Everyone told me.) I've read many books. I've even taken up handspinning -- seriously! I make yarn now!

It's been kind of nice. Fandom has been such a huge part of my life for twelve years now that I feel like I needed a sabbatical. And now I feel like it's the first day of school -- s4 DVDs are out, s5 starts tonight! I have my shiny new notebooks, new shoes, excitement, and dread! Also, the odd thing is that lately it's like we're having some kind of strange Summer of Fandoms Past -- everything old is new again for me!

The X-Files is back -- WHO KNEW? I'm psyched about the movie, even though I'm carefully harboring low expectations. As long as they do *something* right, I'll be happy. Come on Carter -- you can meet that bar!

The Jossverse chugs along with the comic books, which are going so overall well that I didn't even grind my teeth too hard when the last issue turned out to contain lots and lots of Kennedy. Though, Xander, man -- has anyone in the history of fiction ever needed a hug more than this dude? He's like a flippin' Tom Fontana hero at this point. Also, Joss' cracky comic book/musical/webisode/short film Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is due to arrive any time now, and he'll be back on tv (Teacher! Mother! Secret lover!) at midseason with the creepy-as-fuck-looking Dollhouse. It's nice to love something that I feel I can have *high* expectations for.

Due South, you say? Well, not so much with the return-of, but TWoP just gave it an enthusiastic shout-out, inluding calling Victoria's Secret "two of the most sinuous hours you'll ever see." I'm not entirely sure what "sinuous" means in this context, but if it means fucking awesome, they're so very right. Also, Callum continues to make one badass, sexy, grizzled Cylon. Paul Haggis continues to be a Scientologist, but it's an imperfect world.

And do you know what else comes back tonight?

( Oh, yes. Yes, you know. )

Gratuitous because if you're the sort of person who reads my journal, you're likely to be the sort of person who reads all the other journals where this has been recced. Still and all, given how many times I've bitched and whined because there aren't enough Ronon vids in general and Ronon/John vids in particular, I just can't let it pass that

POSSIBLY THE BEST VID EVER VIDDED IN ANY FANDOM BY ANYONE EVER HAS RECENTLY BEEN POSTED AND IT IS RONON/JOHN!

The second half of it is pretty much the vid I was imagining in my wildest fannish dreams, with all of the sweetness and humor and dorkiness and compatibility at work and at play that has always *defined* slash for me -- that is what slashy means, in my head -- and that John and Ronon have always had coming out their ears. (Seriously, even if you don't watch SGA -- if you've, I dunno, followed me here from old fandoms or whatever, I think anyone with the slightest slashy bent would enjoy this vid.)

But what's particularly impressive about "Red Moon" is the way that the *first* half juxtaposes their separate arcs and makes them look even more similar than I realized they were -- the litany of dead friends and lost wars. She finds shots where even their posture is similar -- there's one cut where each of them grabs to catch a comrade who's about to topple off his feet that just says so much about the kind of leaders they both are. There's also a brilliant move around the 1:30 mark where several shots of them passing by each other are cut quickly together, and it gives the impression of them circling each other -- like exactly what they are in the narrative of this vid (also, my brain): two wary, isolated people who are seeing something that makes them wonder if it's worth the risk again.

I couldn't possibly do it justice. It's beautiful on every level: in the artistry of its construction, in the interface with the song, and in the vidder's aesthetic eye for what images really hit at the center of who the characters are -- their pain, their resilient love of life, and their affection for each other.

Cleverly disguised as a flower shop, sekritly the place to go in Durham for all your hard-core werewolf kink needs. Free first-aid kit with every purchase -- good luck!

Complete with Final Thoughts on the season -- two buzzkills for the price of one! No need to thank me.

( smell you later, s4 )

I used to think you had to volunteer to be belittled in Joe Mallozzi's blog, but apparently they're drafting people now.

You know, I really thought about engaging with him (if only to correct the clear misreading of the last quote he puts up there -- I hope it's obvious to all of you that I didn't mean you could ONLY care about people you'd met, only that you were BOUND to do so, while it's often a lot more hit-or-miss with strangers) -- and then I remembered that we're talking about Joe Mallozzi, and that the reason I don't communicate with him *to start with* is that I think he's an asshole who treats the fans foolish enough to play that game like dirt. That hasn't changed, so I can't see where commenting would do me much good.

But I thought I'd let y'all know I was being talked about over there. It's practically like being famous!

I'm trying not to be online too terribly much because I'm in the middle of a big project that will last the rest of the month -- but I do want to talk just a little, wee bit about "Kindred" (and presumably the season finale, as well -- but that's it! Other than that -- work!)

( dear Teyla, I am sorry I said they should do more with you... )

Never Have I Asked an August Sky
by Hth
Sheppard/McKay

Originally written for the zine Surfacing, now available right here on your internets.


“Major,” Rodney said by way of a greeting, which sucked and was stupid and oh my God, if there was room left for this to get more pathetic, then absolutely the way to get there was to call the man by his military title, as if he’d driven seven hundred and thirty miles through fucking Kansas for some kind of horrifically awkward war-buddy reunion moment.

Can somebody point me toward an internet resource for Jewish feminst Shabbat liturgy, particularly the sort with female God-language? I know of several books that have exactly the type of thing I need, but I don't actually own any of them, and the internet is not being my friend here.

Ode
by Hth
Rodney/Ronon
a sequelette to Satisfaction

Summary: Naked poetry. Yes, naked poetry. What, I can't have an id, too? It could totally happen, okay?

Special thanks to linabean for beta duties, as well as for the mere existence of this version of the characters. (I told you I'd post it if I ever found the wherewithal to add in the sex!) Also, I suppose, special thanks to Matthew Arnold, Louis MacNeice (SEKRIT ALCOHOLIC IRISH POET BOYFRIEND!) and e.e. cummings.

( Look, who had to take two semesters of English Lit, me or you? )